chelseabornboy (November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am)

oh my god, you guys remind me of all the utter-bores who used to loudly mis-quote this sketch in my local pub nigh-on 30 years ago and that was FAR from luxury their boring off-spring probably do the same with little-britain material today, AAAARRRRRGGGHHH!

kingbob772 (November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am)

Luxury! I used to act as a speed bump on a motorway! but im only small cause all we had to eat was the sap of a dying tree, so it had pretty much no sap! every car in britain used to drive over me, nd i only got a 10 second break to pee every four years...you had it lucky in the matchbox!

happyprincess456 (November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am)

brilliant. absolutely brilliant

tony9L9L (November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am)

Don't let me Dad hear you say that! He'd have cast us into the fiery pits of Hades without even so much as a backward glance for even THINKING about winning

borimirtheboring (November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am)

You win

tony9L9L (November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am)

Morning? Night? Made no difference to us.Our Dad used to pluck out our eyeballs and pop them up our bottoms whist we were still int womb.....IF WE WERE LUCKY.

borimirtheboring (November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am)

We didn't have morning. We had muck about in the dark our whole lives like moles.

tony9L9L (November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am)

LUXURY- that's what you had. When we were kids it were against the law to be smashed to bits by an endangered antipodean marsupial large or small...no. We had to endure thousands of years of pure unbridled agony at the hands of a sadistic meth amphetamine addicted horse rapist before we were allowed to even get up in the morning!

borimirtheboring (November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am)

They hadn't even invented lies when we were little. We had to tell the truth whether we liked it or not. And if you told a lesser truth you would be smashed to bits by a giant sloth.

tony9L9L (November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am)

Exaggerating? Exaggerating? We've never exaggerated anything in our entire lives! Eeee, we'd have loved to have been able to exaggerate things when we were kids, all we had was the cold, bald truth if we were lucky.